Ask AunT

Dear AunT,

Q:  Can a woman’s sexual intent be judged by the clothing she’s wearing?

A:  This question always leads to heated discussions among both sexes. I personally don’t think sexual intent can be judged by the clothes that she wears simply because clothes can suggest many things to the eye of the beholder. 

I remember growing up, I wore skirts and dresses due to religious practices. I’ve always been curvy even as a child but most of my peers could still see the silhouette of my shape in my long skirts with a heavy lined slip and long sleeve blouses. So although I was completely covered, my male peers still had their own imagination and would often taunt me about my hips, butt, thighs, etc. I was even sexually harassed with these clothes (Little House on the Prairie look). So what was my intent then? None…..

On the flip side of this topic, women should take some responsibility in making sure that they feel secure and confident in whatever they wear. This means, if you choose to wear clothes that will bring attention to your body in a negative manner, you do have the right to not be treated with disrespect, no matter what you wear. I know this is not favorable among the seasoned generation because we were taught that it is our fault if men cat called or judged us if we are wearing provocative clothing. This is not true and it has been proven in many court cases over the years.

I think respect is the key…respect from others as well as for self. Sexual intent has nothing to do with what you are wearing.

Until next time, thanks for asking your favorite AunT….I’ll chat with you soon. 

Trinette Collier Green is a Certified Relationship Stylist
Submit your questions to: simplycindyblog@gmail.com

Beverly's Beatitudes

The Father says today, cast your care upon Me. Those things that you cannot change and cannot get free from, make them My concern and not yours. In My earth walk, I was tempted. I was tempted in every point such as you have been tempted, yet without sin. Your efforts to deal with difficulty and problems often result in making matters worse and polluting your testimony by ungodly responses. Face the reality of your own inability to have a godly response to the ghastly treatment you have received from others. Let Me step in. Run into the high tower of My name. Take your refuge in Me and stop trying to defend the indefensible. I endured rejection. I was hated and despised. I endured all these things so you wouldn't have to. It doesn't mean others won't come against you. It simply means that the sting of hate and sin against you will be assuaged and alleviated by My grace if you will, just give it to Me.

Be wise as a serpent but harmless as a dove. Learn to go quiet when you are in the presence of your enemies. When others narrow the eye and whisper behind closed doors against you - just go low and worship. Go low, take the posture of humility, for I give grace to the humble but resist the proud. Humility is your secret weapon. They may mock and say, "who do you think you are?" but just stay in stillness and trust. They may goad and despise you because those are the things that provoke pride. Refuse to be baited into coming out of the secret place. Let the heathen rage. Let the godless spew their vitriol against you but stay in the place of quiet trust and deep abiding in Me till the storm is passed. This is the path of freedom. It isn't what you have been told by those who think they are the authority on such things, but you be a Father-pleaser and seek the kingdom against all opposition and see the reward that comes to you as a result.

Beverly Branch
Contributing Writer

Cindy's Featured Artist of the Week - Gigi Wilkins

GIGI WILKINS

Gigi is an Independent Healthcare Professional, Family Advocate, and Freelance Entertainer. Her professional career spans over 20 years in Healthcare and Emergency Management. 

Gigi's a self-described Extroverted Introvert. She’s often recognized for her giving nature, complimented on her great smile and taste in almost every woman’s vice, the perfect shoe. Gigi enjoys poetry, jazz, and traveling. She spent a month in Germany, giving her the opportunity to refocus. Although Gigi hadn’t reached the level of professional success she’d hoped for, she realized her life circumstances never interfered with her drive to achieve and her passion for helping others. 

Almost 10 years ago, she was introduced to acting and joined SW Casting. Gigi has worked in Texas and Georgia as background and featured talent in local commercials, movies, and television. Divorced, 40, unemployed and facing empty-nest syndrome, her goal was simple, find a “good job” and continue the pursuit of higher education. Gigi’s faith pulled her in a different direction. She decided to adjust and repurpose the challenges of violence, poverty, and manipulation she’d endured. Gigi placed her energy in mentoring, volunteering and donating to organizations dedicated to rehabilitating families as a whole, with emphasis on recognizing the importance of a strong family unit. 

In honor of her mother’s life, Gigi is currently working on initiatives to educate women and men on the long term effects of domestic violence. The objective is to demonstrate how the cycle of abuse transcends far beyond the immediate situation. Gigi is comforted by the memories of her mother’s captivating personality and her motto in the face of opposition, “I’m not perfect, and it could be worse”. 

A message from Gigi

My debut novel “I Married My Daddy- A Personal Journey to Self” was released August 24, 2017. My mother and I started this journey many years ago. I want to be a voice for children who are the silent victims and create a dialog to stop the cycle of abuse and domestic violence. I hope to vividly demonstrate the importance of nurturing children during their formative years.

Is there a message I would like my readers to walk away with after reading my novel; absolutely! It’s not ok to be silent about abuse. Seek help immediately! Don’t ignore warning signs of any type of abuse, document dates, times of incidences, and seek professional counseling. Find a confidant, someone you can trust to safely defuse the situation and offer sound advice. Lastly, take safety measures to remove yourself from the abusive environment; do not allow the circumstances to escalate. You cannot recover from death.

Domestic Violence holds a special place in my heart because I’ve watched generational cycles of abuse and domestic violence destroy families, friendships, careers, and dreams. My goal is to speak to fathers. I’ve shared a few very personal situations I endured because my dad was present in the home, but absent from his responsibilities as a father, a parent, and husband. If it had not been for God, there is no telling what my life would look like today.

What advice would I give women in abusive relationships? Statistics identify the majority of victims of domestic violence as women, it is important to acknowledge that men are also victims of domestic violence and that in some situations both partners engage in a variety of violent behaviors.

In any case, it’s extremely important to seek help immediately. Counseling is a vital step for making better future life and relationship choices. It’s also important to maintain balance in the victim’s lives and the lives of the children associated with the relationship. I want women to own their value, be confident in their decisions, and never feel they have to settle.

I started a GW Project for two reasons. First, domestic violence is physical, verbal, emotional, psychological, financial, and sexual. In my home state of Texas, no matter how long you’ve been a parent and regardless of the age of the children at the time you apply for divorce, you’re required to take a parenting class before a judge will hear the case. However, there’s no requirement or measure to secure affordable counseling for the family, especially for the children involved and I want to change this.

Secondly, I want to develop a method to secure counseling for children who have parents diagnosed and or treated for mental illness, including PTSD, which is often times the catalyst for domestic violence.

What’s next for me, Gigi Wilkins the author and freelance entertainer? My day job keeps me busy along with attending college. All of this has been a blessing to me. I’m a student of life and excited about the opportunities God has placed before me! I am diligently working to complete the Personal Journey to Self-Series and trying my hand at screenplays and script writing.

Connect with me via the “Ask the Author” section on my website https://www.gigi-wilkins.com where my book can also be purchased. This will enable me to donate a portion of the proceeds to organizations committed to ending the cycle of violence. 

I’ve been blessed to partner with Letrise Carter; Sistah’s Creative Media/Sistah’s Place, who has helped me accomplish my goal of gaining positive media exposure. 

Instagram: gigi.wilkins 

Twitter: msgigiwilkins 
www.gigi-wilkins.com 

Ask AunT

Dear AunT,

Q: Is it considered cheating if your significant other is reading or watching pornography?

A: Hmmm, let’s see; According to the Dictionary, cheating (v.) means to be sexually unfaithful and watching/reading porn COULD fall in that category. However, there is no actual sexual activity taking place, just self-masturbation and/or with their partner if they are watching it together. In some religions, it is frowned upon and discouraged from being part of the relationship. I would strongly suggest that maybe you seek marital counseling and really talk about sex in your relationship. You probably will discover much more!!

Until next time, thanks for asking your favorite AunT. I'll chat with you soon ;)

Trinette Collier Green is a Certified Relationship Stylist

Raise 'Em and Praise Him - Testimony Tuesday! Cindy

Dear Reader - I am the owner of Simply Cindy blog. Today, I didn't have a testimony from another to share so I decided to post one of my own older writings. Nothing will stop me from doing the Lord's work so if no one shares a testimony - I'll step in and share one of mine, never a problem; nothing will derail the mission.
*****************************

Somebody Prayed for Me!

Good morning family. It’s with great honor that I’m here today amongst the living. Today is my birthday and I’m happy to say that I’m 51. This time last year, I was crying my eyes out for turning 50. I felt that that number represented “old” and even though I didn’t feel old or feel I looked old, I just couldn’t wrap my mind around that number. This year, 2015, I’m proud to say I’m 51 and I no longer have a problem with the number 5 anything. ;)

I’m writing this morning because I want to give credit where credit is due. What better time to do that than today on my special day! Giving thanks to my parents who raised me, who helped mold me into the lady I am today. I also want to thank the village who stepped in, Aunts, Uncles, Neighbors, and Friends that put their deposit in my bank of Cindy to help guide me and mold me. It takes a village.

I want to address this writing – “Somebody Prayed for Me”.

Feeling extremely blessed to be here today, I know somebody prayed for me. Coming out of depression from having to walk away from a job I’ve known for 19 years due to the company moving; somebody prayed for me.

Making adjustments daily after stepping out on FAITH and deciding not to return to the corporate world; somebody prayed for me. My leap of faith to relaunch my company – Cindy’s Simple Pleasures, LLC and to listen to God’s voice and direction; somebody prayed for me.

You see, working for ExxonMobil was my world. I’d been with them for 19 years, started as a Mobil employee but God had a different plan in store for my life. Somebody prayed for me. Everything that happened from my last day in the office to today has been written; it was in God’s plan for my life. Somebody prayed for me.

I pray all the time and I prayed over my decision to either relocate with the company to Texas or remain in VA. That wasn’t an easy decision to come to but I prayed and God delivered my answer. I know the voice of the Lord. I know when He answers my prayers. I’m where I’m supposed to be. This was in God’s plan for my life.

Since May 2015, when I walked out of corporate headquarters, God has been doing what He does best. He’s been working on me, preparing me to do His will. He’s been delivering and I’ve been receiving. Again, somebody prayed for me. I had to go through what I went through to be where I am. And guess what? I’m still traveling! I see a long road ahead but one that I’m not traveling down alone. God is with me so I’m “all good”. I don’t have to worry about my future, I just live in the moment and take one day at a time. My faith is strong so I have to be quiet and wait on the Lord to deliver, in His time. Working from home affords me the time to be quiet and listen. Time to receive. It affords me times like this – to write when the Spirit touches me too.

Stepping out on faith and leaving corporate to become a full-time entrepreneur had family members concerned. Somebody prayed for me. I knew what God was telling me, remember, I know how to listen. I knew this is where He wanted me so I listened and remained headstrong in making it my mission to do His will. All while somebody prayed for me.

Life isn’t easy and nothing will be handed to us on a silver platter. We’ve got to go out there and make things happen! We’ve got to do twice as much, work twice as hard but that’s okay as long as the end result is in the positive category and not the negative one. As long as we remain faithful in God Almighty and do His will, if He is for us, who can be against us? No weapon formed against me… right? Indeed. ;) Somebody prayed for me.

My morning prayers thanked God for another birthday. I thanked Him for the blessings He’s already shown me that I’ve walked into and the ones unseen but are yet to come.

If you get anything out of this message, I hope you get this… Believe. Have Faith! “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Step out on Faith today as I did and allow God to do what He does best. Receive Him today, allow your soul to be cleansed and start living a new life in Him. You will see that your day to day activities will change. You will see that you not only have a new walk but a new voice. If you want your circumstances to change, have somebody pray for you but you must allow God to step in by receiving Him today as your Lord and Savior! Somebody prayed for me, let me pray for you!

God bless you family!

One love,

Cindy*

Cindy's Featured Artist of the Week - Marita Berry!

MARITA BERRY

A self-published fiction author lives in New York City. She cherishes her family, exploring the meaning of life, chocolate, rainy days, salsa dancing, and meditation. 

Marita is most proud of raising her two sons as a single parent into successful young men while continuing her education where she received a master’s degree in Social Work, and being a grandmother to two wonderful grandsons whom she says keeps her grounded. 

Marita’s debut novel, Red September takes the readers on a roller-coaster ride of emotions that will make them laugh, cry, wonder, and wanting more. Her book can be found on www.maritaberryauthor.com

Divine Wellness

Integrative Nutrition

What’s it all about, this integrative nutrition stuff? A new buzz phrase? A catchy title with no substance? Seems as though which each passing day, we hear about some new study explaining the latest trends. What’s good for us one day, is bad for us within a few months. So let’s explore what integrative nutrition means and you can make a determination as to its significance for your life.

Integrative nutrition consists of all the various components of life that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. This includes such areas as career, relationships, physical activity, spirituality and finally, food. So let’s dig deeper into these areas.

Do you have a job that you love? How many of us can unequivocally say that our 9 to 5’s truly encompass all that we need to be happy? Think of how many hours a day, week, even a year that we spend at our jobs, away from loved ones, just to bring home the bacon. For many of us, our careers are a reflection of who we are. As we grow into our professional careers, each supervisor and group of coworkers contribute to the totality of our experience as an employee. We take in the good throw out the bad and keep advancing to the next level. Our jobs eventually develop into careers. Our satisfaction with our careers, or lack thereof, propels us to make appropriate moves, as we set out to accomplish what we were put here to do. Our careers feed and challenge us to use our personal gifts. If we’re not happy with our careers, it causes imbalances in other areas of our lives.

Our relationships with friends, family, colleagues, supervisors, etc., play a significant role in our well-being. Take a moment to think about how many people you know and what your relation is to them. They could be close family members, a college friend or a former boss. Now, how many of those folks do you communicate with on a regular basis? Finally, can you honestly say that the majority of your relationships feed you in a positive way?

Sadly, we all have energy drainers in our lives. You know who they are! Folks who totally exhaust you mentally within a few minutes of conversation. Keep them at arm’s length. Love them from afar and don’t let them steal your joy! Relationships should feed us emotionally, physically and mentally. As you form your circle of influence with those who motivate and inspire you, remember to keep the energy drainers at bay.

According to the President’s Council on Physical Fitness, adults need to exercise five or more days per week for 30 minutes per day. Yeah, ok! Who has time for that? With most two-parent families working full-time and kids coming home from school to an empty house, with tv, snacks, video games, etc., how do we make a case for exercise? Speaking as a parent, kids will emulate the behaviors their parent's display. So if we’re inactive, guess what? The apple won’t fall far from the tree. Think of this… How many times have you started an exercise regimen and eventually stopped? What happened? Most people start exercising with a goal in mind, which is great! But they get caught up in the “New Year’s Resolution” frenzy!

Did you ever sign up for a gym membership in January, only to find yourself falling off the wagon by March? Who needs that? What we do need is a routine of movement to physically feed us, and dare I say, we need it daily. So do something you love! And once you do and stick to a schedule, you’ll be good to go!

How strong is your faith? Do you have a consistent spiritual practice? Daily prayer or meditation, attending church, family rituals, customs and traditions that are spiritually based, guide us to be more in tune with a powerful force that can lead us to the very core of who we are, why we’re here and what we were put here to do. For all of us, spirituality means something different. These activities feed our souls and help us in our own personal growth and development. Explore various methods of nurturing your core being and choose a practice that suits you.

The main components of integrative nutrition – career, relationships, physical activity, and spirituality, are all interconnected. In relation to food, if any one of these four components is not balanced, it affects how, what, when and why we eat.

Current healthcare practices only treat disease symptoms. In order to reach a state of total well-being, the four components of integrative nutrition must be balanced with a daily intake of healthy foods, all with the goal of nourishing the mind, body, and spirit. Every human being on this earth is different and requires a separate personal plan of action for their own well-being to manifest. Integrative nutrition is a concept that can get us there.

Traci A. Fonville is a board certified holistic health coach, a graduate of the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and a registered yoga teacher. She is the owner of I Affirm Wellness, which specializes in health coaching and beginner yoga classes. Follow Traci on Instagram and Facebook @iaffirmwellness.

Divine Wellness by Traci A. Fonville, HC, AADP, RYT

Contributing Writer

Originally published in New Living (Sports, Natural Health & Fitness Newspaper), - 2011