Dear AunT,

Q: Should you ask questions about your mate's past?

Signed: L.S. ~ Learning to Love

A: While pursuing a healthy relationship, we are naturally inquisitive about our mates and their past relationships. When we find bits and pieces of the past, we try to connect the dots and then compare to the current connection.

However, if you are concerned about the past and begin questioning it, be very prepared for the answers. Questions are good. They can provide insightful information that will help you with your current relationship and expectations.

Before you start the questioning process, be clear about why you are asking. Are you being nosey? Petty? Are you wanting to know the dating pattern? Was there any abuse? Mishaps? Whatever your motive is, just be clear about it. You don’t want to sound like the FBI in an interrogation room! Then ask yourself, what are you going to do with the information given? Will it help you to make the decision of staying or leaving the current relationship?

Questions can be part of the learning process, it’s how you ask them and when you ask. So again, be very clear about why you are asking about the past and what do you plan to gain from it. The past is the past, let it be. Of course, if there is any type of harmful acts or abusiveness, make sure to make a decision that will ensure your safety.

Until next time, love, live, and laugh!
Chat with you next week!

Love ya,
AunT

Trinette Collier Green is a Certified Relationship Stylist
Submit your questions to simplycindyblog@gmail.com