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| Trinette Collier Greene |
Q: I'm a single Christian woman practicing celibacy and I want to get married. However, in the midst of me waiting, I’m having ‘thoughts’ but I’m a Christian woman! How could this be? Help!
Signed: I.P. ~ Celibate and Waiting
A: Well, let me tell you first and foremost, you are a human being, a woman and a person who is having natural feelings. It is very natural even as a Christian woman to have those urges and thoughts. Living in a world that is fueled with constant sex through music, television, social media, conversation, etc… celibacy can honestly be a bit challenging and stressful in times such as these. I know this to be true because I was celibate for eight years before meeting my husband. I used to cry out to God wondering if I was a hypocrite or what because I had dreams, thoughts, conversations that would lead to sex and I didn’t understand how could this be! I honestly thought I was keeping myself pure at heart.
A: Well, let me tell you first and foremost, you are a human being, a woman and a person who is having natural feelings. It is very natural even as a Christian woman to have those urges and thoughts. Living in a world that is fueled with constant sex through music, television, social media, conversation, etc… celibacy can honestly be a bit challenging and stressful in times such as these. I know this to be true because I was celibate for eight years before meeting my husband. I used to cry out to God wondering if I was a hypocrite or what because I had dreams, thoughts, conversations that would lead to sex and I didn’t understand how could this be! I honestly thought I was keeping myself pure at heart.
Throughout the journey, I realized that I was placing unwarranted pressure on myself because I wanted to prove to people that I could be this super celibate Christian woman on a quest so that my husband could find me! Not true…in fact, the journey became more personal, spiritual and the outcome was very different. For me, my celibacy journey was about me being obedient and renewing my body, mind, and spirit from the past. I had to reevaluate my situation and have a ‘coming to Jesus moment’ about what was happening because I truly did not understand at first. I had to be 100% honest with God about it all.
Here are a few tips that helped me on the celibacy journey;
- Ask yourself why are you practicing celibacy? Is it for a deeper relationship with God? Is it only to find a mate and get married? Are you trying to prove that you are a super Christian?
- Learn about celibacy. It is more than just abstaining from sex.
- Learn about your body, emotions, feelings and more as a woman.
- Find other Christian women/men who are on the same journey. Encouragement from others that are experiencing the same can help keep the mind clear.
- Clear your mind. Be mindful of what you watch, speak, conversations and other things. Be honest with yourself, if you are unable to handle certain environments, then remove yourself.
- Be honest with God. Talk to Him about what you are feeling and ask Him to help you. Don’t give up or feel discouraged. God will bless you for your obedience.
Until next time, laugh, love, and live life!
Love,
AunT
Trinette Collier Greene is a Certified Relationship Stylist and Contributing Writer.
Submit your relationship questions to AskAunT@gmail.com
Submit your relationship questions to AskAunT@gmail.com
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