This is what age 54 looks like! Cindy Reed - Business Owner

Creations by Cindy's Hands & Cindy's Simple Pleasures Collection

    Trinette Collier Greene

Q:  I recently married about a year ago and I really thought our relationship was supposed to be 50/50 in everything -  such as household chores, finances, decisions and more. I’m not frustrated but sometimes I feel like I’m doing more. Is marriage 50/50?

Signed: C.C. ~ Half & Half

A:  Newsflash… a marriage will not be 50/50! I know there may be some couples that have mastered this but it takes practice and patience. It is natural to believe that when you get married that your life will be equally divided. However, the reality is that more than likely it won’t. The dynamics of each relationship varies upon your relationship goals. You said that you are not frustrated but it sounds as though you are deeply concerned and want to resolve it before going any further.

What prompted you to believe that a marriage is 50/50? Do you feel like a marriage should be equally divided? Did you see this type of marriage growing up with your parents? Do you know of other couples doing this? Splitting chores, finances, decisions and other items in your marriage will require much communication and expectations from both of you. You will need to relay your concerns to your husband and be truthful as you explain your concerns before they turn into frustrations. Discuss your strengths and weaknesses in each area that you are requesting. Work together to achieve the goals that BOTH of you have set.

I will keep you in prayer!

Until next time, laugh, love and live life!

Love,
AunT

Trinette Collier Greene is a Certified Relationship Stylist
and
Contributing Writer

Submit your relationship questions to AskAunT@gmail.com

Model P31 Fit by Bridget McCray

Get S.M.A.R.T
with Your Goals 

So…it’s a new year. What are most of us inclined to do in January? Make a plethora of resolutions!

* “I’m going to lose 15 pounds this week!”
* “I’m going to drink a gallon of water a day!”
* “I’m going to go to the gym twice a day every day!”
* “I’m going to cut out all the salt in my diet!”

Do any of these declarations sound familiar? Of course, they do. Most of us have said one of these things, or at least, something similar. Right?

Then, what happens when:
* … we gain two pounds that week, instead of losing 15?
* … we end up barely drinking a bottle of water a day?
(You get the idea.)

We tend to give up, don’t we? What if we took a different approach, creating goals that set us up for success, instead of for failure? We can do just that by using S.M.A.R.T. goals!

(Image credit: www.envisionexperience.com)

Let’s take one of the resolutions I mentioned earlier and turn it into a S.M.A.R.T. goal as described in the image:

Resolution: “I’m going to lose 15 pounds this week!”

This statement is specific (“15 pounds”), but there is no mention of its meaningfulness. There are no planned action steps stated, and it is not realistic (“15 pounds in one week”) though, it is timely (“this week”).

Side note: One pound is equivalent to 3,500 calories. In order to lose a pound, one could cut 500 calories a day from his or her diet, burn 500 calories a day with exercise, or do a combination of the two in order to achieve a safe and healthy weight loss of 1-2 pounds per week. (500 calories x 7 days = 3,500 calories or 1 pound)

After some necessary adjustments, let’s look at it again:

S.M.A.R.T. goal: “I’m going to lose one pound per week this month by creating a 500-calorie per day deficit through diet (decreasing by 200) and exercise (burning at least 300) in order to help lower my slightly-elevated blood pressure.”

This now meets the criteria of being a S.M.A.R.T. goal. It is:

Specific: “lose one pound per week this month”
Meaningful: “to help lower my slightly-elevated blood pressure”
Action-oriented: “creating a 500-calorie per day deficit”
Realistic: “lose one pound per week”
Timely: “lose one pound per week this month”

I hope that seeing this example helps you to understand how to turn your resolutions into something that helps you move toward success. I have been on my own wellness journey for almost five years and have used these beneficial principles. However, over the last couple of years, admittedly, I have lost my focus in a couple of areas.

That being said, I’m going to share a resolution of my own, in order to hold myself accountable to you, the reader: “I’m going to increase my stamina.” In my next article, I will show how I turned that into a S.M.A.R.T. goal.

I invite you to join me in this challenge. Will you revise your resolutions to make them S.M.A.R.T. goals? Just pick one, and go for it!

Bridget McCray

Contributing Writer

Author, H.E.A.L.T.H.: It’s Not Rocket Science (My Journey to a Healthier Me)

Available at Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com in both paperback and eBook formats!

Booking Information
Please visit www.bridgetmccray.com.

Humbly Yours by Val Crawford

MasterLife Lesson

Thank YOU, ABBA FATHER, for a new year and another chance. Thank YOU for a new opportunity to share YOUR Wonderful Grace, Compassion, and Mercy toward us. And now FATHER, please be Glorified by the transparency of the words that YOU draw from this pen and allow us to be enlightened, informed and strengthened - in the matchless Name LORD JESUS!

¹⁹ And your hearts will overflow with a joyful song to the Lord Jehovah. Keep speaking to each other with words of Scripture, singing the Psalms with praises and spontaneous songs given by the Spirit!

 Ephesians 5:19 - The Passion Translation

A song woke me up one morning while I was working toward a presentation for a class I am in – “Where the SPIRIT of the LORD is, there is Liberty.” My mind got locked on the word ‘Liberty’ and made me look up synonyms for that word:

Liberty – birthright; entitlement; privilege; authority

Now – to be honest, I was worried – really struggling with my presentation. “How do I explain my assigned portion of what I have learned over the last several weeks? And if I can’t explain it, have I learned anything?”  One of my issues is that I never want to make the mistake of opinionating the WORD.  So, I begged ABBA FATHER to give me the words for my project … do you hear the crickets?!? I did!!

The week of the presentation, at the end of a rehearsal for a production I was in, just before we prayed, I was sharing that I would be late because “I GOTTA go to class.” They were aware of and very graciously understood that – NOTHING supersedes my MasterLife lessons. But here I had to veer away from my comfort zone, lay pride aside and be transparent. I couldn’t worry about what anyone would think - I needed prayer because … I was struggling.

My Facilitator (who was also in the production) did what our facilitators had BEEN doing since I entered the class.  She rushed to minister to me.  “Are you okay? Why are you struggling?” What she said next, made me smile happy tears. “You know … you don’t have to re-write the book.”

That blessed me so much! I mean – the book talks about being filled daily – fresh and new. It talks about setting my Self aside and doing so daily.  But I didn’t have to ‘re-write the book.’  She asked me, very simply, “What – no - WHO is HOLY SPIRIT to you, Val?”

On my way home that evening, HOLY SPIRIT didn’t sit behind me. HE didn’t sit beside me. No - HE sat IN my lap and started pouring into me. It was as if HE was just waiting for me to let go. And that made me smile happy tears too! I was making it too hard on myself!

JESUS told us (me) a looong time ago, that although HE was leaving here, HE was sending us another COMFORTER!  “So why are you trying to copy the book? Who do you say that I AM, Valerie? 

Okay – well … I will tell you … When I have been my loneliest – and in this life, there have had some l-o-n-e-l-y days - HOLY SPIRIT is my company keeper! When I am so afraid, I don’t want to take another step, HOLY SPIRIT is my Security Detail! HE is my Sentry and my Night Watchman!  When I wanted, not so long ago, to close my eyes and see to it, myself, that I never opened them again on this side of life, HOLY SPIRIT held me through the darkest, scariest, and loneliest of nights … and would NOT let me go, until I let go of the destructive thoughts that were trying to smother me.  HOLY SPIRIT rises up in this weak woman DAILY and shows how Strong HE is.

I understand with much better clarity, the Apostle Paul’s declaration to the Corinthian Church: “…Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong….” (2Cor 12:9b-10 NIV).  I too can now declare that when I feel weakest, that is when I am strongest!

As I am submitting myself to HIM, HE is drawing me closer and teaching me DAILY, a new amazing way to my birthright with JESUS; an amazing, new way to my Place of Privilege in JESUS; an amazing, new way that really does pass all understanding - that PEACE that just BOGGLES my mind!!!

**If you ever need to reach for help, someone is always available and willing to listen -  You don’t have to be alone**

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - Call 1-800-273-8255

Val Crawford

Contributing Writer

     Trinette Collier Greene

Q: I recently filed for divorce after eight years of marriage and I'm adjusting to my new life. The divorce process wasn’t messy, we simply grew apart. We don’t have any children and all assets were divided fairly… it really was a smooth transition. I’m ready to date and start something new… is that ok?

Signed: D.R. ~ Divorced & Ready

A: I’m really sorry that you had to divorce. It sounds as though you want to be back into a relationship however, I feel as though you will need some time to heal and rediscover self. Although it was not a messy divorce, you still have to self evaluate and figure out what were the reason(s) for your divorce. Was it that you nor he wanted to be in a committed relationship? Did you lose sight of your marriage? Were you totally unhappy in your marriage? You grow apart because of many unresolved issues from both. I’m not sure if you both attended marriage therapy but there should be some discussion BEFORE you start dating again. 

You don’t want to bring the same issues over to a new relationship and you definitely don’t want to get involved just for the sake of having someone. I suggest that you go on a journey of self-discovery and revisit your previous marriage. This will help you determine if you are really ready to date again.

Until next time, take a moment to laugh, love, live and breathe life!

Love,
AunT

Trinette Collier Greene is a Certified Relationship Stylist and Contributing Writer.

Submit your relationship questions to AskAunT@gmail.com

Model P31 Moms by Bridget McCray

Bridget McCray

Important Things?

Imagine a world where there were no broken children…a world in which no child suffered neglect at the hands of his (or her) own parents. “…but, I provide everything my child needs. He (or she) wants for nothing,” one might say.

Though the child may have every THING, would he have our focus if he needs to share a concern that a friend may harm himself, or would we be too busy looking at the big game or binge-watching our favorite show to listen?

Though the child may have every THING, could she tell of how she was selected to sing the solo in an upcoming play for which she auditioned, or would we be subtly distracted as we checked our various social media pages for the latest “news”?

There are so many people and things competing for our children’s attention. Yes, we provide things that they need, which is part of our parental responsibility. However, are we listening to them, I mean REALLY listening?

Do we take time to notice their body language, their facial expressions, and the tone of their voices when they try to talk to us? Is it possible that they just walk away, because we don’t even take the time to acknowledge their presence when they try to communicate with us?

Even as I write this, my heart is convicted, as I know I’ve been guilty of these things at one point or another. I want my children to know that they are loved and valued as part of our family. Besides the provision of basic life necessities, the “thing” our children need most is our time and attention. Would you agree?

Bridget McCray

Contributing Writer

Author, H.E.A.L.T.H.: It’s Not Rocket Science (My Journey to a Healthier Me)

Available at Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com in both paperback and eBook formats!

Booking Information
Please visit www.bridgetmccray.com