Dear AunT,

Q: How do you help your partner cope with disappointments?

Signed: C.A. ~ Partner4Life

A: Depending on the severity of the disappointment, there are a few ways that you can help your partner cope. Unless you are a professional, licensed therapist or counselor, do not try to diagnose your partner. This action will shut your partner down and they will not trust you. You are partners because of the trust. During this time, he/she really just need you to listen, hold, hug, or just be there, so do not play doctor. If it becomes too much for both you and for them to handle, seek professional counseling/therapy. It is perfectly ok to allow others to intervene.

Here are a few ways to help your partner:

1. Listen. Don’t try to give interventions, advice, comparisons, etc…just listen.
2. Hug. Sometimes a hug will do it.
3. Offer your partner a bath (yes, men as well can take baths!). Sometimes just sitting in the water can relax the nerves and tension so that release can take place. You can also add Epson salt or bath cocktails such as bubbles.
4. Change the mood. Make the environment stress free by turning on soothing music, lighting candles, utilizing a vapor with oils such as eucalyptus or peppermint.
5. Offer personal space. Your shoulder/lap/body can be soothing for your partner to cuddle, hold and even cry on.
6. Most importantly, say a prayer and words of affirmations. Let your partner know that everything will be alright. :)

Until next time, I’ll chat with you later!

Love ya,
AunT
Trinette Collier Green is a Certified Relationship Stylist
Submit your questions to simplycindyblog@gmail.com

Sticky Notes by Trinette Collier Greene

Sticky Notes….Sticky Situations Daily Dose of ?!?!

Welcome back to Sticky Notes…Sticky Situations Daily Dose of ?!?! The first half of the school year is coming to an end. The holiday season is here and the kids will be unfocused and excited because of holiday programs, events, and more! It can also be a stressful time for teachers because they are trying to keep the kids focused. Practice testing still must continue and preparation for the New Year is happening. Everyone is scrambling to make it to the last school day in December! Emotions are at an all-time high!

By now, routines have been established, so there should be a flow of homework, conferences, and activities. This is the perfect time to start your school holiday organizing! Start preparing for the class party, class gifts, teacher/administrative gifts and more! There are many ways you can help your child and their teacher during this time.

1. Ask your teacher for a class list and the holiday plans. Even if the teacher is unsure of the holiday plans, you can still get generic class gifts and provide your teacher a store gift card so that they can shop for the party items.
2. Ask your teacher if you can be of any assistance to them during the season. You can file papers, start the cleanup and provide a bathroom break for the teacher.
3. Ask your teacher for their wish list. It may be hard to get one from him/her because they don’t want to say but the thought of you asking will place a smile on their face.
4. Send encouraging words and mini gifts…utilize Pinterest!
5. Be patient with your teacher and child.

Stay connected for more tips on having a great year and more! Until next time, remember to get a daily dose of laughter and love.

Mrs. Collier Greene

Connect with Verse - Poetry Corner! Featuring: C. Michelle Atkins

C. MICHELLE ATKINS

What you want, I got it 

You don't have to explore other options

I'm the only option 

The One you're looking for 

You dreamed of me 

Now I'm your reality 

I'm in your inner space 

Enter space as you enter me 

My mind, the place where the soul resides 

My soul, where you can run and hide 

I'm the "It Factor", the stuff dreams are made of 

Your dreams, when you're awake 

I take you there and lift you high above 

The cares of this world 

Yes, I'm "That Girl" 

Your intergalactic chic 

The galaxy abyss 

The soul star, shooting far 

Above what your mind can conceive 

But what your heart can believe 

And your soul can achieve.... me

Dear AunT,

Q: Should you ask questions about your mate's past?

Signed: L.S. ~ Learning to Love

A: While pursuing a healthy relationship, we are naturally inquisitive about our mates and their past relationships. When we find bits and pieces of the past, we try to connect the dots and then compare to the current connection.

However, if you are concerned about the past and begin questioning it, be very prepared for the answers. Questions are good. They can provide insightful information that will help you with your current relationship and expectations.

Before you start the questioning process, be clear about why you are asking. Are you being nosey? Petty? Are you wanting to know the dating pattern? Was there any abuse? Mishaps? Whatever your motive is, just be clear about it. You don’t want to sound like the FBI in an interrogation room! Then ask yourself, what are you going to do with the information given? Will it help you to make the decision of staying or leaving the current relationship?

Questions can be part of the learning process, it’s how you ask them and when you ask. So again, be very clear about why you are asking about the past and what do you plan to gain from it. The past is the past, let it be. Of course, if there is any type of harmful acts or abusiveness, make sure to make a decision that will ensure your safety.

Until next time, love, live, and laugh!
Chat with you next week!

Love ya,
AunT

Trinette Collier Green is a Certified Relationship Stylist
Submit your questions to simplycindyblog@gmail.com

Connect with Verse - Poetry Corner - Featuring Glacia Townsend

Glacia Townsend

RACE

AGGGGHHHHHHH! This whole race thing is really frustrating

All the killings of these black males with no hesitating

And then to boot, with no penalty or indictment in the end

Yes, some of the males may be wrong, however then you need to apprehend

Punish them and/or make them do time

Because No, they should not just get away if they committed a crime

But to put them in a GRAVE

C’mon these young lives could have been saved

And what gets me… is when there are no weapons found

However, his family is suffering because he is 6 feet in the ground

While the murderer gets off scot-free

And you are telling me justice is distributed equally

I know one of the issues is this word called RACE

We were created equally I don’t know how that part got so displaced

God created one race called human… go on take a look

Nowhere in the Bible it reads differently trust I looked through that book

Yes we have different cultures, ethnicities, and pigments in our skin

But because of that for our life, we have to defend

This is the 21st century and still so much more room for change

We went from hangings, where we believed that to be strange

So no more strange fruit on sycamore trees

However, the killings are now with guns still done publically

Who are you to judge that a life can just be taken away

So how do you get to decide who goes and who stays

We are all human I which we could just all understand

To live in love with one another is Gods plan

Not to hate on the bases of pigment of someone’s skin

Take a moment and check yourself within

You bleed and hurt and I do too

That’s because I too am human just like you

Why can't we treat each other with respect and be a little kinder

Why do I have to write these words as a reminder

That its only one race so how could one, when there’s only one be better

God put us all here to live peacefully together

And for a very long time that has not been the case

We have allowed Satan to intervene and try to divide the human race

C’mon we can’t continue to let him win

Especially by being divided because of the difference in our cultures, ethnicities or color of our skin

It hurts me so bad to realize that we come so far but yet still have so far to go

However, I think even little steps can continue to help us grow

Let’s not loot and steal because two wrongs never become right

But let’s stick together like snowflakes to win this fight

One snowflake alone does not shut anything down

However, when they all stick together they can shut down schools, businesses, and towns

Let’s make a difference that will last forever

Let’s promise not to give up, never!

But let’s see this thing all the way through

And remind each when asked what’s your race… reply, 

I am HUMAN just like YOU!

Written by Glacia Townsend

Dear AunT,

Q:  What are the components of a strong relationship?

Signed: R.G. ~ Waiting & Ready

A:  There are many components that can build a foundation for a strong and healthy relationship. However, it really depends on the individuals.

When you enter a relationship, you must set up your expectations and start building from there. Remember, a strong foundation cannot be built after the first day or date of the relationship. It is work.

Here are some components that I incorporated during the initial dating stage;

1. I set my expectations of what I wanted in a relationship and I shared it with my partner IN CONVERSATION! Not text, emails, gifs, or emojis….I talked!
2. I listened and understood my partner’s expectations. It wasn’t one sided and again, it was through conversation.
3. When we started officially dating, I did not worry about a title, I wanted to enjoy dating because my expectations were already set. Meaning, he knew that I was not looking for a one night stand or cuffing buddy. :)
4. We built a friendship… listening and learning with each other and from each other.
5. We took our time, being patient is essential. We allowed things to flow.
6. We found a common denominator in our spiritual life, meaning, we prayed.
7. We enjoyed every part of the process and are still enjoying it.

So I hope this will give you a start and I wish you the best!

Until next time, I’ll chat with you later.

Love ya,

AunT

Mindset Matters by Cassandra Williams-Herbert

Living a Life of Intent by Renewing of your Mind

Are you living life with the greatest intent? Your lifestyle takes an evaluation of learning to focus on you, finding time to identify skills, values, and interests. This includes exploring options by getting connected with individuals that are walking the same path and to pursue the area that follows your desired outcome. These areas include preparing yourself, placing yourself in the right circle, fair, networking event, taking classes. The goals of all this will involve reflections and decision making for the desired life you wish to live.

One of my greatest joys is waking up living a life of intent and gratitude. We must remember to focus on the things that matter in life. In our daily lives reflects our passion motivator which is connected to our actions and decisions. The day when Intentional Living Intentionally takes priority in your life it will transform.

Living intentionally recognizes distractions that you normally would take part in the activities of wasted time and many unproductive days.

Is life fair, No. Is life perfect, No but the journey that takes you through to help you define your life purpose is defined by family, friends, daily interactions with others, setting and locations.

Recently I had a moment to reflect on life about family members and friends that I have lost too deeply take a strong aim at not taking life for granted.

After attending a funeral of a very close friend, a very strong woman of faith, all I was left with were reflections. These reflections took my attention to other past loves in my life that have past on. Individuals most live with intent, making every moment of every day of their lives matter to others and most essential to God.

Remember, tomorrow is not promised and the next minute not guaranteed. Renew your mind for living a life of intent and no regrets. "If" is such a big word; If I did, If I could, If I knew - what would you do differently? What would matter most? We should not let living life be a life lived of I did not but yet I lived a life of fulfillment; live each day with purpose and passion for a life of impact.

“Living An Intentional Lifestyle is Essential” to create a world of joy and peace. Be intentional with your life through your actions, words, thoughts, love and your mindset. 

Cassanda Williams-Hebert
Contributing Writer & Social Media Specialist, Simply Cindy Blog