Ann
My Testimony stems from a passion I have to pour into the lives of others as it relates to Women who have never been Married and Marriage after the age of 40.
As we grow up, a young girl's desire is to get married and have children. This too was my desire, yet I was plagued with the fact that I was approaching 40 and had not experienced marriage, nor did I have any children. My chapter in the book, Soul Talk details how I totally and completely surrendered to GOD after having failed previous relationships. In doing so, I had to really put my TRUST in HIM because, I started to believe statistical data that would suggest the older a Woman is, the less likely she is to get married.
Additionally, I believed that I would never have children because of my age. To be honest, I suffered silently because I'd slowly become more concerned with what others thought of me as opposed to how I knew GOD felt about me. It wasn't until I started to BELIEVE what GOD's word said about me and who I was, that my focus started to change. As a result, I put them together....TRUST + BELIEF = MANIFESTATION OF GOD's Word.
My Mother passed in 2001 and prior to her passing she'd given me the Scripture, MARK 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
Little did I know that this was the start of my entire journey until I got married. GOD was preparing me back then and I didn't even realize it. Approximately three years later in 2004, a Co-worker gave me another Scripture (well, GOD gave it to her to give to me) and it too has become one of my favorite scriptures that I stand on to this very day! That Scripture is
JEREMIAH 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Hmmmm....I was on to something. All I needed to do was ask GOD and "BELIEVE" (this is exercising my Faith) and HE is going to give it to me! YAY!!! Then, HE said, HE has plans (which means HE's already working on something but I don't know what that something is. It doesn't matter because I have Faith that HE's going to give me the desires of my heart as it relates to a Husband) to Prosper me and give me a Hope and a Future!!! Really GOD??? YES!! REALLY!!! So then, I heard a Sermon from a Pastor which said that I/we needed to be "Specific" with our Prayers. Then, I received another Passage of Scripture, HABAKKUK 2:2-3 “Then the Lord answered me and said: Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, But at the end, it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.”
So, now I put all of these three Scriptures together and I wrote a very detailed list of the characteristics I wanted in a Husband and what I wanted my wedding to be like. I wrote the list on 05.13.04 & tucked it away in the Bible my Mother had given me prior to her passing and left it there. The previous year (prior to writing my list) in 2003, I met a nice gentleman through a mutual friend. The following year in 2005, we started talking & went on our first date in 2006. I also became very active in a Mentoring and Discipleship Ministry in my Church. So much so, that I went from Student participant to actually being a Leader for the entire Ministry which comprised Men and Women, as well as Children.
In my transparency with you, when we first started dating and our relationship progressed, we became physical. The problem was the higher I would go in Ministry and the stronger my relationship with GOD became, the more I began to be uncomfortable with the "type" of relationship I was in especially because I was responsible for souls and it just didn't feel right to me. I do let people know that while we are all human and we have to fight our flesh daily, I am in no way shape or form passing judgment on people who are in physical relationships and not married. I let people know that it just wasn't working for me and especially because he wasn't ready to commit to taking our relationship to the next level - marriage.
So, I had to make the difficult decision to end the relationship (2009). When I did, I have, to be honest, I was afraid. I was over 40, no children, never been married and those thoughts of not being enough started to creep back in. I started feeling like it was going to really be hard for me. Nevertheless, I made a decision to be right for GOD, the ladies who looked up to me, and myself. In retrospect, it was the BEST decision I ever made because while I made a decision to be "ALL IN" with my relationship with HIM, HE was working on him all the time behind the scenes.
Throughout the time we broke up, we would only talk on rare occasions (I ceased all contact and blocked him because I knew I loved him and I didn't want to be weak) and he respected my decision to abstain from sex with him or anybody else because deep down inside I knew what I wanted and so did he. We were broken up for approximately two years and again, throughout this time I saturated myself with the Word and serving in Ministry.
In Oct 2010, I was serving for a Women's conference and the Minister said, "You have been Praying about something and you think GOD has forgotten about you. Well, I declare and decree that by the time you get home tonight, your entire situation will have changed." As soon as she said that, I got a text from an in-programmed number. It was him just checking to see how I was doing. I didn't respond until I was about to head home and he called me. We talked my entire way home. On Christmas Eve 2010, he proposed and we were married on August 5, 2011. August being the eighth month with a Spiritual significance of (New Beginnings) and five having a Spiritual significance of (Grace). We both experience "New Grace" and I have been married now for over five years.
While it may not seem like it, I have given you the "Short" version because there were several encounters I had with Christ throughout the two years when we were apart. These encounters only confirmed for me that GOD had my back, my front, and my sides and there wasn't anything wrong with me at all. At the same time, I had some not so good encounters with people who would say "mean" things as a ploy from the enemy to make me doubt that I was going to even get married. But, look at GOD!!! Those who counted me out, obviously can't count! So, I just want people to know, if you write down your requests to GOD, no matter what it is if it is aligned with HIS will for you, HE is going to move on your behalf. We just have to TRUST HIM, BELIEVE what HIS Word says about us and our situation and I PROMISE you will see the MANIFESTATION of HIS Work unfold in your life!!!
I hope I've not given you too much or too little. I Pray that this will encourage other Women especially if they desire to be married, to saturate themselves in the Word so much so that as their focus on HIM increases, the "him" will come.........
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Ann Lorraine Esters-Stevenson is an Author, Speaker, Leader, and Coach who is a “Woman after GOD’s own heart” with an unyielding passion to “Pray it Forward” by pouring into the lives of others. A member of St. John Church Unleashed, Ann Lorraine has served in various leadership capacities as Coach for a mentoring and discipleship ministry. Having an innate ability to motivate, encourage and uplift, she has guided many to maintain a clear vision of themselves including healthy self-perceptions, relationship expectations and an understanding of who/what they deserve as their life-long spouse. Equally as important, Ann Lorraine places a deep emphasis on their realization of who they are as GOD’s children while walking in true commitment to their purpose.
Ann Lorraine has greater than 20 years’ experience in Corporate Leadership encompassing areas of Coaching, Development, and Continuous Improvement as a Six Sigma Green Belt. A Diversity and Inclusion Leader, she a huge advocate in sustaining a more equitable office environment while acting a liaison between HR - Talent Acquisition Staff and Historically Black Colleges and Universities, and leads various Employee-Business Resource Groups. Her Philanthropic accomplishments include Community Engagement and service oriented coordinated events with an intense focus on the underserved in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex.
A Texas Wesleyan University graduate and Entrepreneur, Ann Lorraine owns A.L.E.S. Consulting, LLC specializing in coaching clients on the “Do’s & Don’ts” when interviewing for career or role changes, as well as AIB Creations, LLC., a Design & Décor company for special events. She is married to her Best Friend and Husband, Shaun, has two amazing Sons, Shaun and Christian, and an adorable Yorkshire Terrier, Seven {007}. In her spare time, she loves spending quality time with family, traveling, collecting crosses, and interior design.
Ann Lorraine can be reached via the web at ladyannlorraine.com and she’s created a Facebook Group Titled, “PassionForPouring”. She can also be reached on LinkedIn as well as on Instagram @bigbeautifulsmile.
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