Q: How do you accept compliments from men without thinking that they are trying to get with you?

Signed: G.C.~ Compliment Challenged

A: To begin, we need to understand that there are still great and RESPECTABLE men out here that admire beautiful women. Men are visual creatures and when they see something and like it, they have a tendency to voice that. Now, there are times when a man crosses the line with unwanted sexual tones. This then becomes harassment and/or sexual harassment. If a man compliments you and it makes you uncomfortable, ask yourself what made you feel that way? Was it his voice? The way that he looked as he spoke to you? Did he include a touch? Why did you think he wanted more?

For example, at one point in my life, I was very self-conscience of my curvy figure. I found myself receiving compliments that made me very uncomfortable and I began to group all men as sexual predators. I always thought that when a man complimented me on my hair, my dress/clothes, smile, or whatever, he had a motive; a motive to harm me. This was because of some past unresolved issues. However, it took the intervention of some close male friends to help me understand men and why they were complimenting me. I realized that I didn’t know my own beauty and worth but others could see it. They also assured me that all men are NOT the same.

So, moving forward, start a self-inventory and think about your first compliment that you received; how did you handle it and what was the outcome? Remember, all men are NOT creeps :)

Until next time, laugh, love, and live life!

Love ya!
AunT

Trinette Collier Green is a Certified Relationship Stylist
Submit your questions to simplycindyblog@gmail.com