Role Models
Dad: “Son, you are not allowed to smoke.”
Son: “…but Dad, you smoke. Why can’t I do it, too?”
Dad: “Do as I say, not as I do!”
Mom: “Sweetheart, you should always tell the truth.”
Sweetheart: “…but Mom, you just told the person at Amazon that your package never arrived, and they’re sending you a replacement. The package did arrive, and you opened it yesterday.”
Mom: “Do as I say, not as I do!”
These scenarios may sound vaguely familiar. If you experienced this as a young person, do you remember how it made you feel? Did it seem hypocritical? Was there something you learned from it?
Of course, there are things that parents have the liberty to do, simply because they are adults. However, regarding life principles, should there be a different standard for parents than there is for children?
In the above Dad-Son scenario, what if the dad’s response was along these lines: “Son, I know that I smoke. It’s a terrible habit that I wish I’d never started, and it’s a very difficult one to break. As a result of my years of smoking, I am now dealing with several health problems. Son, this is why I never want you to develop such a habit. I want you to have the best life possible. Do you understand?” Would the son have walked away with a sense that his dad loves him and wants the best for him? I’d almost bet on it!
What about the Mom-Sweetheart scenario? Not only did the mom tell a lie, but if she were to keep the original package, that would also be stealing. I wonder if that mom was intentionally trying to teach her daughter to lie (and steal). I doubt it. That mom may not have considered what she was teaching her daughter in that moment.
Whether we like it or not, as parents, we are role models. Contrary to the “do what I say, not what I do” concept, children typically do the opposite; they “do as we do.” Be it integrity, respect, compassion, generosity, good work ethic, and so on, our children usually model our behavior.
As a parent, I am far from perfect. Every day, I recognize the need I have for wisdom from the Lord to do the toughest “job” I’ll ever love alongside my husband. As parents, we are blessed to learn lessons from our children, as well. Though we are the earthly authorities in our homes, we can still mature together with them.
We, as parents, are responsible to God for how we rear the children He has entrusted to us. We have the wonderful opportunity to teach the next generation through our actions, not just our words. May our actions be worthy of emulating.
Bridget McCray
Contributing Writer
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