Raise 'Em and Praise Him - Testimony Tuesday

A Testimony of Tenacity and Transformation

My name is Valeria Edmonds and this is a story about me before and after 2004. After four decades of a relatively charmed life, it seemed there was one crisis after another to hit me that year. However, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I praised my way through a major storm and came back stronger, more resilient, and much wiser.

Born in Memphis to somewhat middle-class parents in a very large, close-knit and religious family, I am the oldest of four children and I excelled in school.  I breezed through the 1980’s with a string of accomplishments in high school including serving as President of my class, cheerleader, debutante, and I was voted most likely to succeed. I graduated from college and went on to get an MBA from Howard University.  The 90’s started off with a bang by me landing a well-paid position in HR with a Fortune 5 company, getting married to an aspiring attorney, purchasing a home and then becoming a mom.  In my thirties, I was on the fast track at work, very active in the community, a Deaconess and women’s ministry leader at my church and traveling to nice vacation spots once or twice a year while balancing a dual-career marriage.  Life was good.

After 13 years with the company, a couple of relocations and several promotions, I was asked to move for a position in our corporate headquarters for a critical developmental assignment.  It was one of those pass/fail opportunities, which would either lead to a senior management position, or not.  My husband was very supportive but we decided that it was best for his career if he stayed behind with the kids and join me later.  Six months into the assignment, things started to fall apart with my marriage.  Years of focusing on my career and working extremely long hours had taken its toll.   In 2004, despite the potential career impact, I decided to relocate back to VA to try and save my marriage but sadly we still went through a divorce.  I found myself starting a new job in a very high-cost area as a single mom trying to buy a house on one income at the height of a housing market boom.  During that time I also threw out my back and had to endure excruciating pain.  There I was about to turn forty, dealing with a simultaneous physical, financial, relationship, and professional crisis. 

My life had turned upside down and I didn’t think it could get any worse.  The divorce took a significant toll on my self-esteem.  My body looked very different after two kids and the dating game had changed. I went from being a hi-potential resource at work to someone that had to prove myself all over again.  Having always been fairly healthy and fit, it was very hard to adjust to regular visits to chiropractors, orthopedic surgeons, and taking lots of Advil.  The pain was so bad most of the time I could only get relief by lying prostrate on the floor and I joked that God was forcing me to learn how to pray. However, the biggest adjustment by far was becoming a single mom. I found myself in a position of needing a lot of help in a town where I didn’t have any family and I was not used to asking for help.  The “S” had to be ripped off my chest.

A pivotal moment came during a conversation with a spiritual mentor who asked me to reflect on a conversation we had several years prior.  At that time I had shared with her that I felt God was calling me to become a Christian counselor. She knew I had a passion for mentoring and developing younger women but she said at the time, “You can’t counsel anyone because you haven’t been through any thing!”  She reminded me in the midst of my storm that you couldn’t effectively counsel others unless you had some challenging personal experiences to draw from and told me that my tests become my testimony. This was my ‘ah-ha’ moment.   I immediately began to see my issues as opportunities for growth and development.  I began to draw upon my spiritual foundation and resolved to become a better person by learning from my situation.  I joined the women’s choir at my church and learned to praise my way through.    

The road since then hasn’t been easy.  In fact, it’s been a long steady journey of self-discovery and transformation. Journaling, volunteering, and singing in the choir became my refuge as I focused on   

re-establishing a life not centered on work and being married.  I had to acknowledge and accept responsibility for some of the problems in my marriage.  I learned how to operate and be comfortable as a mature single.  One of the scriptures that helped me was Isaiah 54:5, which says “For your Maker is your husband – the Lord Almighty is his name.”   I recovered from back surgery only to face a cancer diagnosis with courage a few years later. I solicited and responded to professional feedback so that I could rebuild my career and I created a new vision for my future. 

They say, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you strong and by trusting God for supernatural strength, I think I have become a better role model for how to handle change and disappointment without becoming bitter.    I am now remarried and a sought after mentor and speaker within my company and the community on leadership, change management, relationships, resilience and work/life balance.  I still work diligently to remain positive and to look at problems as an opportunity to be a better person. I believe my past challenges have made me a better parent and my desire to share my testimony to help other women gives my life purpose.