Trinette Collier Greene

Q: Should your spouse know how much money you have saved or have?

Signed: I.J.~Wife In Training

A: Good question and commonly asked among couples. I remember during my first marriage, I was given the advice from seasoned women to always keep me a hidden stash. I was told to never let my husband know about extra money I received. I actively listened and followed this advice because I knew they were speaking from prior experience. I never saw any harm in doing so but I also felt like there was no honesty in our finances. However, reality hit me with unforeseen divorce and I was left with nothing. This came from improper and ungodly financial planning.

As I approached my second marriage, we attended marital counseling and one of the topics was finances. During our sessions, I spoke of my previous advice and my thoughts. I shared with my husband that I was afraid of being broke and disappointed financially as I was in my previous marriage so I had serious issues with letting him know my financial status. I did learn that this wasn’t a team effort and wasn’t healthy if we were building together. There is nothing wrong with you having your own savings for yourself. I would suggest that you both create a healthy and balanced financial plan that includes your tithes, financial goals, savings, retirement, his/her accounts, joint household account, etc…This will also help build the trust and financial insecurities in your marriage.

A few tips on moving forward:

1. Pray and seek a financial planner. Make sure that the financial planner understands your spiritual giving as well
2. Work together and list your goals for your household
3. Don’t compare your savings/finances with anyone else
4. Be honest as you talk about finances and prior experiences

I pray financial blessings!

Until next time, laugh, love, and live life!

Love,
AunT

Trinette Collier Greene is a Certified Relationship Stylist and Contributing Writer

Submit your relationship questions to AskAunT@gmail.com