Raise 'Em and Praise Him - Testimony Tuesday

The Narrow Road

by 

Christi Polk

Exactly one year ago on February 1st, I went in for a mammogram after discovering a lump in my breast. After the mammogram was inconclusive I had an ultrasound and then a biopsy. Exactly 11 days later on February 12, 2016, at 10:30 am I got a call from my doctor, “Christi, it's cancer”. She went on to tell me that she is sorry and that the next step was for me to contact a surgeon, a radiation oncologist and an oncologist. She said so much more, but it all sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher.

After venturing onto the Conventional Track and being told of my “Only Options” which consisted of Chemo, Radiation, and Surgery, I met with the 4th and final Oncologist which attempted to ridicule me for considering going Holistic. She called me “Foolish” and “Emotional” and ask me why would I not want to “Follow the TREND” and further ask me why would I want to take the “NARROW Less traveled ROAD” rather than the “WIDE WELL TRAVELED ROAD”. Once she was done with her ATTEMPT to demean me and the “QUACKS” I was listening to, I boldly expressed to her that “I DO NOT follow trends and I choose to take the Narrow road”. God spoke to me in that moment and gave me confirmation and courage to proceed on the journey that He has for me.

I thank this Doctor for unknowingly speaking the word of God to me. (Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.) 

This is MY JOURNEY. That day my life changed FOREVER. All I can do is thank God for all that He has shown me, taught me, and how He is using me. My journey has just begun, so PLEASE do not feel sorry for me, for God is using this time in my life to show me His works and do works through me for others. I am far from perfect, yet I am healthier than I have ever been in my adult life. I have lost over 50Ibs by changing my diet to nutrition and how I view food. My focus is not being "cured", my focus is what God told me to focus on, and that is being healthy. Healthy in the spirit, body, and mind. I struggle daily with being in balance with each of these areas of my life, but God's grace is sufficient.

The cancer diagnosis for me was a wake-up call. A wake-up call as to how I was living my life and how the past hurts, disappointments, rejections and deep-seated unforgiveness, bitterness and yes, hatred had wreaked havoc on my health. The diagnosis was a catalyst that took me on an emotional awakening to my past. As a young child, I had a very keen sense of disinterment of people and situations, way beyond my years or what I could fully understand. But the earliest memory, which was the root of my emotional traumas that eventually grew into a tree riddled with self-destructive branches and limbs, was rejection from my Dad. 

The memory is so vivid, it's as though it happened yesterday. I was four years old, and my mother, brother and I were at a Juneteenth celebration. My dad was not there with us, however, he too was there. This I know because as I was running around the park, I heard his laugh which got my attention. As I searched for where it was coming from I saw him and a woman that was not my mother walking hand in hand. I called out to him, “DADDY!” And his response towards me, changed my thoughts and feelings of myself, for years. When I called out to him, he and the woman that he was with (who later became my step-mother) turned towards me, and she asks him “is that little girl is talking to you?” His response was “NO”. He grabbed her hand and walked her away, leaving a four-year little girl vulnerable, hence opening the door to the spirit of rejection to enter, that ultimately dictated my future relationships and lack of self-love, as well as self-destructive behaviors, insecurities, and fears. That broken little 4-year-old girl grew into a broken woman, full of toxicity and feelings of being picked over and not being good enough. I lived in a state of “fight or flight”, waiting for the rejection, expecting it, because it was my worth. But GOD!

Years of these negative emotions eventually manifested with a cancer diagnosis. I know this is true because God, piece by piece, has revealed this to me. He has revealed to me how years of toxic thinking has controlled my life, robbed my joy and sabotaged my peace, hence suppressing my immune system and destroying my body's cellular structures. Yet, He is able to use it all for His glory! Replacing all of the toxic emotions with Gods Love has been the source of my continued healing of mind, body, and spirit. As I stated, this is My Journey, and it has just begun. I chose the holistic approach because that is what God put in me. And that is what God wants me to share with the world. I ask God years ago to use me in a mighty way....Here I am.